On a typical wet and windy Saturday morning, I would stare out of my bedroom window wondering whether to step out. However, last Saturday I had to brave the inclement weather as I had a date – meeting my cousins for our annual festive meal in a restaurant- a Turkish restaurant. I pondered for my cousins with children and life it is not always easy to catch up on a regular basis.

With Christmas around the corner this is the only time we can all meet up, without guilt, indulge in copious amount of food, alcohol and a sprinkling of gossip. When I say it’s meeting up with cousins, it also includes those that are linked to them and to me – cousins – in laws. Those cousins that remember to bring them along- their spouses ecstatically tag along, for these better halves a merciful reprieve from staying behind to undertake child care duties. If it can be helped these parents will not be bringing along their children. Let’s be honest, although I love my cousins – the ones with young children most definitely look forward to these meet ups – few hours of escape from their endless hamster wheel of routine and child care.

At the annual festive gatherings we make polite earnest resolutions about arranging these meetups on a quarterly basis- like those new year resolutions which are non-committal in nature which evaporate into the ether even before Christmas decorations are packed away. We all know full well organising one of these events is a much a of a mission than those given to Tom Cruise in MISSION IMPOSSIBLE – it would be a miracle if we had these gathering with all present more than twice a year!

Introducing the Cousins

Cousin G – I entered the restaurant with him, and although he was smartly dressed, his attire didn’t exactly scream festive. With his ascot cap perched precariously on his head, a starched white shirt, and a green jacket giving off faux‑country vibes, he looked as though he’d wandered off the set of Guy Ritchie’s The Gentlemen — sans shotgun.

Cousin K – I stopped near the doorway, bewildered, as a booming, familiar voice shook the walls. I turned to him and said, that’s our Cousin K — her indomitable voice is unmistakable, naturally amplified without the need for a bullhorn. Cousin K has always given me the impression that, God forbid she were ever abducted, she’d be absolutely fine. The kidnappers would march her straight back home; her voice is a stronger deterrent than the police.

I looked around everyone was suitably attired but not for a festive meal, aesthetically the restaurant wasn’t resplendent with festive decorations – only decoration that was at the table was ME! I was dressed in a cardigan which had red tinsel sewen into the material which made me look like a rose coloured festive meringue.

Cousin T – said her other half won’t be coming as he was looking after the children – she seemed merry without being intoxicated- probably must have been high on serotonin. She glanced at cousin K saying I am ready for a stiff drink ! I wondered whether she wanted a stiff one as she is away from kids and hubby for a short while or whether she needed one as she was seated next to cousin K! .

Cousin N – I sat next to him because I hadn’t seen him since our last catch‑up, which was during my birthday month, June. Fun fact: the month was named after the Roman goddess Juno — a very auspicious month for celebrations! He was pretty chilled and mentioned he’d be keen to meet up with Cousin G (obviously for a boozing session!) when his wife is away on holiday overseas.

I looked at the starters we received with incredulity — there wasn’t a morsel or hint of festive sprinklings. Other than the claim that the sausages were Turkish — does that mean the sausages have Turkish nationality, or simply that they’re made from the bird Turkey? I’m still none the wiser. The main course and dessert followed pretty much in the same vein. As a self‑confessed addict of anything sweet, the cheesecake was the highlight. I still felt short‑changed — this wasn’t a festive meal with cousins, just a meal with cousins.

Cousin G insisted he booked the festive lunch, though I remain dubious of his claims. Still, I couldn’t be mad at him — he paid for our alcoholic beverages. Regardless of the meal, it was lovely catching up with cousins in the lead‑up to the festive period.

Starter – Garlic Bruschetta